there is life after a size 18...

Friday, June 25, 2010

Once upon a time I was unhappy and a size 28. I found it within myself to starve off 125 pounds (got to size 18), and while this was absolutely unhealthy, it was the key to finding my self confidence. That was 8 years ago and a lot has changed for me since then. Mostly, I had a baby and am happily married - can you guess it? Yep, the weight is ALL back. But you know what? I am just as confident as I was then. I now realize the weight was not the problem, how I looked at myself was.

While trying on clothes for a fun fashion post, my brain stopped me for a second to remind myself that my legs are not the best (always have hated my knees), I don't have a tan and my son gave me a fresh bruise. But you know what? I don't give a sh*t. Honestly. I don't think I'm the most wretched looking monster on the planet and while I do wear a size 28 pants, I refuse to hibernate and wear maxi dresses 24/7 (even though they are totally comfy!). I am human, I have flaws and I love my body. My hope is at least one girl who refuses to wear shorts and take full body pictures will see this and somehow be inspired to stop hating herself. I started this fashion blog to help give a voice to the big girls out there and shout from the rooftops, you can FEEL and LOOK gorgeous if you believe it....there is life after a size 18.

Join my "full body shot" project now at www.facebook.com/curvyconfident30something where you can upload your full body picture to give your vote of curvy confidence to other women who can relate to you.











The most comfy wedges EVER! Just got them at Target.



Outfit Deets:
Top - Lane Bryant
Shorts - Old Navy Plus Size
Shoes - Target
Necklace - Target *Flower is a pin-on that I got at a garage sale*
Handbag - COACH 2 year anniversary pressy from the hubby :)

xoxo
jessica

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30 comments

  1. How about 40 something and loving it. I love your blog. I think women of all ages who are curvy should be proud of who they are and rock it!

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  2. rockin' wedges...thanks for this post.

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  3. What a great blog and post! Though I detest shorts, I think you look fantastic in them. Such a classic look and healthy ttitude towards life. Bravo! :)

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  4. The same happen to me 7 years ago. I was in a size 26-28 lost to a size 14-16, but gained it all back after I met my fiancee. Some days I fel quite horrid for 'letting myself go,' but I really try to focus on the positive things!

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  5. HOT! you give me a lot of confidence! Thanks!

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  6. Nice post Jessica. Keep inspiring women to be confident at any size. I'm 46DDD cup range fluctuate between a size 16 & 18 pants size , some days I feel terrible especially when i have difficulty finding clothes here. I sometimes wonder if I were skinnier with way less boobs if I would still be single. Feeling beautiful is a constant struggle but I am each day learning to be comfortable in my skin an dtrying to stay healthy and I know the right man will love me at any size. As a young woman it is empowering to connect with positive , confident women like you so keep up teh good work . Maybe I should start blogging again.

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  7. I love this post. You look so cute and have motivated me to get some shorts!!!

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  8. You Go Girl!! Funny thing is I can totally relate. I was 50-60 lbs lighter back in my prime yrs of 20's, looking back at old pics, I was hot! Sadly I didn't feel hot or even pretty & cute half the time. Its now that I am in my 30's and heavier that I feel the most confident about my self and my body. You are so right, its all a state of mine.

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  9. Ahhhh to lose weight and to gain it back again...then to lose it and to gain it back again LOL it the never ending battle --- no worries b/c it really is being happy with yourself.

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  10. You loook great and its awsome you kept your confidence. I run into women at my work all the time that keep complaining that "I dont look rite cause I had a few kids and my whole body is awful" and its fustrating and annoying for me cause half the time the women who are calling themselfs fat are half my size and very beautiful but dont have a quarter of my self confidence. By the time their done shopping at the store I work at I end up feeling either like Im a body image councler "Look at yourself in the mirror girl and list a thing you love about your image once a day" or I end up feeling fustrated and like "Heck girl, if you think you look fat then what am I? Godzilla in a dress? Get real! You may have boobs and butt but your totally skinnyer than the average woman so shut it before I get a complex from you!"

    It seriously makes me want to cry some days cause I feel like I have failed them when they walk out with a defeated attatude not cause nothing was cute but rather cause they felt their body wasnt cute enough for the itmes. Grrrr! How are you supppost to feel good about yourself when you wont even admit you look good when you do look good? When everyone even admits you look good but you dont? *sigh*

    I feel like sociaty has failed us when they make beautiful women who should be strong role models for others (like good mothers who work hard to support their kids) feel like their not worthy cause of their not barbie prefect.

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  11. Great post Jessica....

    I feel like women that wear over a size 18 have to embrace themselves and know that they are beautiful regardless of the number on the scale or clothing tag. We can't wait until we are a size ____ to look and feel good.

    Have a great weekend!

    Maddy
    www.plusmodelmag.com

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  12. AHH!!! I have those shoes!! I rock those ALL the time! Aren't the SO comfy?

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  13. Well, I would like to say this is a nice post but do you all girls believe that there is no need of a single man's eyes to judge the beauty of a plus size woman? I know that you all are confident enough still a "wow" from a man will increase your tempo 200 times, am I wrong? Really "WOW Gorgeous.." -Dr. Ujjwal

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  14. Jessica, you rock! not only for your confidence and your skorchin' style, but for the way you shine the light for women to be/feel/act beautiful no matter what size they wear.

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  15. Jessica - you look fabulous! Love the pin, love the shorts, love your hair. Most of all I love the message of this post. I think we all need a reminder that we can look amazing at any size and flaunt it.

    Completely inspirational!

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  16. wow you look absoluely stunning girl!!!!!

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  17. Very summer girl!! I am loving your hair!! Have I told you that already? lol

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  18. This is very inspiring! I love your whole look especially your hair and shorts :-)

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  19. I think you look amazing in this outfit. I find it very inspiring and encouraging - I've avoided wearing shorts for years for similar reasons.

    And those shoes are fabulous!! I have got to find a pair. ;D

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  20. An inspiring and motivating post. Thanks for reminding us that if we believe we're beautiful and fabulous, our self-confidence augments ten fold. Love the necklace!
    Bella
    http://gypsyroxylee.wordpress.com/

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  21. love the flower pin idea... am so stealing that! =))

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  22. We at Goddess love what your all about. Hats off to a true Goddess... Jessica Kane!!!!
    xoxox,
    JK
    Goddess by Juanita Kelly

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  23. I love the fact that you're so confident in who you are, your job & creative skills, your personal style, & your body. What I take issue with is your use of the word "curvy," rather than fat. I understand all the negative connotations the word fat still has, & understand why people might want to avoid it. But haven't fat activists done enough to change that stereotype that we can be comfortable using the word fat now? And even if they haven't, wouldn't it be helpful to see more people using it without shame?

    I've been a fat activist for over 10 years, & what I've discovered is that most women who describe themselves as "curvy," rather than fat, do so because they want to indicate that they're a proportional fat woman. In other words, they may be fat, but it's distributed proportionally; the width of their hips is proportional to the width of their shoulders; their butt is balanced out by boobs; they have a smaller torso in proportion to the rest of their body.

    These are the kind of fat women we used to see in plus size magazines, in Lane Bryant ads, etc. Proportional women, whether they're fat or thin, tend to look better in clothes than women who are not as proportional. While internet dating, I've also met many guys who have no issue dating a fat girl...as long as she's proportional. I even saw one guy on Craigslist, looking for a "plus size beauty," but he included a drawing of the kind of body shape he's looking for: a slightly fatter Marilyn Monroe type; a proportional hourglass or Coke bottle figure.

    The message I've picked up is that if you're a fat girl, the more 'socially acceptable' fat body type is proportional - i.e., "curvy." ...But what if you're *not* a proportional fat girl? I'm certainly not. My shoulders are broader than my hips, I carry most of my fat in my belly & boobs, & I don't have much hips or ass to speak of. I sometimes jokingly describe my body shape as a retired linebacker with a beer belly. By all the standards I mentioned above, my body shape would indicate that I'm less 'socially acceptable' to men, the plus size modeling industry, & plus size clothing retailers. I mean, how many times have I tried on a pair of women's pants that fit my waist, only to find that there's huge amounts of room in the hips, so they look like clown pants on me? I've learned to deal with the pants issue. But I rankle when I hear a fat woman using the word "curvy" to describe her body.

    ...continued...

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  24. ...continued...

    That's not to say I want to take away anyone's autonomy in how they choose to describe their body. I encounter that issue enough when I describe myself as a fat woman and usually hear a chorus from others of, "aww, you're not fat!" They're still falling prey to the standard belief system that says "fat is not attractive." They're trying to be complimentary, but they're still stuck on all the negative stereotypes of the word fat. At which point I usually explain that fat & attractive are not opposites, & please allow me the autonomy to describe my body the way I choose.

    I'm not trying to take away that autonomy. What I'm trying to say is, when you use the word "curvy," and "curvy" only, to describe your body shape, you're subconsciously drawing a line between the 'unacceptable' fat girls and the more socially acceptable curvy girls. You're telling people that you're a socially acceptable curvy girl, not one of those awful fats. And that's not cool with me.

    What I'd love to see is a woman describe herself as a "curvy fat woman." That way, she's acknowledging her curves, & acknowledging that she's fat, not distancing herself from the word & subconsciously creating a division between the "good" curvy girls & the "unacceptable" fat girls. If you're fat, own it. If you're fat & curvy, own it, too. But don't continue this damaging dichotomy between "curvy" & fat women, because it doesn't do anyone any good. We all deal with the same negativity from society at large, the popular media, the medical & weight loss industries, not to mention the retail clothing industry, on a daily basis. I don't think we should have to deal with it from other fat people, too.

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  25. woah thirties girl - thank you for the reply. If you knew me you would know I don't shy away from the word fat. And I am a curvy fat lady. Thank you for your input and know that I am not one of those that thinks fat is UNattractive. I come from the more common sense approach that you shouldn't hate yourself, and try to be the best version of you for your body. that's it. I'm not here to preach or teach, I'm just one FAT girl sharing her view on style.

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  26. Glad to hear you're not adverse to the word fat. I know you don't think fat is unattractive; it's obvious from how you present yourself on your blog and the things you've done with your life. I guess I'm of the opinion, though, that if you have a blog that addresses body image, even if you're just talking about your own body image, you're doing some teaching whether that's your intention or not. Once you put yourself out there with the intent to discuss body image (again, even just your own), some people will look to your blog to see what you have to say on the subject and you have an opportunity to let them know that fat is not a bad word. Neither is curvy, but as I wrote above, it can lead to a negative dichotomy between the non-curvy fat women and the curvy ones.

    It's always the individual's choice on how he or she chooses to describe his or her body, but if you have a teachable moment at hand, whether you want it or not, I think it's a good idea to not shy away from the word fat and hopefully help the rest of us reclaim the word from all the negative stereotypes it still continues to have.

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  27. je decouvre ton blog,j aime beaucoups et se que tu es jolie ! ;O)

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About Me

STATS Which are important so you can gauge if these outfits will look similar on your body.
SIZES: Size 24 on top, Size 26/28 on bottom, 11W Shoes
I have been every size from 12 to 32 in last 12 years.
MEASUREMENTS: 5'8", 50" Bust, 48" High Waist, 60" Hips

HEALTH: (since it's an inevitable conversation, here are the facts) 310lbs as of Jan 2014, normal blood pressure + cholesterol + sugars + etc, no PCOS, no thyroid problems, I think my metabolism has completely left the building however, I absolutely believe the human body was meant to move and exercise is important! Get those endorphins baby! Afterall, happy people don't kill people, right? :D

RULES I LIVE BY
• being a working mommy wifey doesn't mean I have to dress the part *wink*
• black, white, red and grey for life
• no matter what size I am I will dress this body to the nines
• Size and age are just a numbers

For more plus size inspiration and body posi loving, check out my magazine SKORCH lead by Tiffany Kaelin Knight!





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