Super Women's Day?

Friday, March 08, 2013

It's Super Women's Day right? That's my executive decision on the matter. Another day on Facebook where I question my awesomness and feel the spikes of failure. Feeds filled with "inspiration" of Oprah and Hilary Clinton and trust me I understand and appreciate the rally of women and celebrating all we have accomplished, but the pressure mounts up, and I just can't. So, instead, I'd like to offer my version of inspiration, a blog post by my best friend Mandy. A delightful reminder that our quest of being Super Woman (and admiring those who we think are) might be a bit ounrealistic and that no one is perfect 24/7.

Guest Post by Mandy Allen

Super Woman Syndrome

I want to do it all, and I want to do it perfectly.
I want to have a perfect body, and a perfect house, with a perfect child and perfect marriage.  I want a perfect fulfilling and successful career, while also being the life of the party, and the perfect friend to everyone I meet. 

That’s not asking too much, right?

Like my husband when he watches “Doomsday Preppers”, and feels the need to stockpile 15 years of food and an arsenal of automatic weapons, I get a little bit unreasonable when faced with a new opportunity or challenge. 
Hi, my name is Mandy, and I suffer from Super Woman Syndrome. 

Affecting millions of women worldwide, you too might be one of its silent victims.  Does any of this sound familiar?

1.       You must always be there to save the day!  No matter the challenge, no matter the need, you will always take care of it.  After all, that’s what Super Heroes do, and…

2.       You will do it all-by-yourself.  Super Heroes don’t need help!  Sidekicks are purely for comic relief.  All the heavy lifting is always done by the Super Hero!

3.       There are 24 hours in every day, and you will use them all.  Super Heroes don’t need sleep!
4.       You will never give up!  You will try harder, make a better plan, sacrifice a little bit more.  Super Heroes never fail!

5.       From their perfectly coifed hair, to their rippling super human muscles, Super Heroes are perfection in every way, and so you will be too.

6.       With each obstacle overcome and every triumph achieved, the next must be bigger, better and more difficult.  Super Heroes are always faster, stronger, smarter, and more amazing.  Never a dull moment, you will always be looking for an adventure to top the last.

UGH!! Why do we do this to ourselves!!!
I cannot even count how many times, with my invisible cape rippling down my back, I have reported my lengthy Super-Hero-To-Do-List to my Mom, only to hear the same kind, yet firm response.

“Mandy, you are not Super Woman!  You are human and therefore cannot be perfect.  You do not have the power to control and do everything.  You must stop being so hard on yourself, and you must ask for help when you need it.”
When I hear these wise words, the Syndrome rages inside me, and I want to scream,

“No!  I don’t wanna!  I am SUPER WOMAN!!  I can do it all, and I can do it PERFECTLY!” *Jessica raises in air.*
But no matter how blinded I am by my affliction, or how stubbornly I cling to my delusions, at some point I, and all sufferers of Super Woman Syndrome, must accept the following truths.

We are beautiful, intelligent, capable women, but we are only human and cannot do everything!  We must acknowledge the other beautiful, intelligent, capable humans all around us, and reach out to them for help when we are overwhelmed.
Sometimes we have to say no.  We can’t be everything for everyone.
Perfection is impossible.  We must stop trying to catch it.  We must stop being so hard on ourselves all the time!  Truth be told, even Super Heroes aren’t perfect.  

We must not be afraid of failure.  If we don’t ever fail, then we won’t ever learn.
We must stop focusing on being better and achieving more.  If we don’t stop once in a while and acknowledge what we have already achieved, then we will NEVER feel successful.

I know it’s hard to hear, and it’s even harder to practice, but with the occasional reality check from those who love me most, I have faith that eventually I will overcome Super Woman Syndrome.  *Jessica raises another fist in air.*

If we can all just step back and take a breath, stop picking ourselves apart and stop demanding unrealistic perfection, I have faith that suffers everywhere will finally overcome!     

Or maybe I’ll just get a mask to go with my cape. 

Oooo, maybe one with glitter!
Am I alone in my struggle, or can you feel the invisible cape at your back too?  
The first step in recovery is admitting you have a problem.  Hey, maybe we can get a deal on a bulk order of masks!          

To all the women out there, celebrate you but remember to give yourself a break too.

Happy International Women's Day

Love Jessica


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